WARNING: THIS ARTICLE IS EXTRAORDINARILY CLICHE. SO CLICHE, THAT IT IS THE NATION OF SKELETONS POPPING OUT'S FAVORITE PASTA. SO CLICHE YOU WILL DIE. SO CLICHE A SKELETON WILL POP OUT OF YOUR BODY WHEN YOU DIE. But read this anyways.
The Cliche Sale of Something Edit
So there I was in my house, minding my own business, just doing what I do all the time: browsing wikis. I went on Random-ness wiki, edited things there, then Randomness wiki, edited things there, this wiki, edited things, Random Wiki, did some editing. Oh, and I made a Trollpasta so mind-blowingly cliche that it was deleted in a matter of about 30 MINUTES. I was not prepared to create anything I would lose! Thankfully, since deleting can be common there,I snapped some pictures and saved them on my computer. I slept, woke up, and edited more wikis. The next thing that happened was very unusual. I received a platinum badge that said "GO OUTSIDE OR YOU'RE NEXT." for no apparent reason. So, I decided to do what the badge told me to do.
I went outside, and I found that a man with a colorful t-shirt was selling Video Games. I searched around, and then I found a MOVIE. In a sale of Video Games. Weird. It was the Spongebob Movie! I told the guy that I wanted to buy it. He was shuddering and shaking really nervously as he gave it to me for free. He said it was haunted by, in his own words, "uh...something, that is, uh...horrifying...", but I said WHO CARES! and took the DVD anyway. I slapped the man with a penny before leaving to my house.
The Movie Edit
When I arrived home, I was so excited to play the movie again! I felt a surge of joy as the intro played. Everything was normal. Normal until the crime scene. The crime was actually very serious there. A customer was KILLED (Phil). Wait, what? This is supposed to be a kid's movie! How can this happen? Anyways, Spongebob went inside the Krusty Krab to investigate the scene and Phil's dead body. One minute into the scene, the scene suddenly cut to black as Spongebob's scream was heard, which means, in cliche pastas, that HE DIED! Then an extremely disturbing smile with hyper-realistic eyes appeared. Spongebob screamed again, but he was alive and well in bed and just woke up from a horrifying nightmare. The sponge just shrugged it off and the movie continued as normal until after the manager scene. Plankton cloned King Neptune and killed the original with a mega knife. LoTz Of BlOoD eVeRyWhErE and organs (how cliche!). The focus changed to Spongebob's room. The title character was sobbing red tears of you-know-what-because-it's-cliche, and then, I heard 2 things approaching faintly: the faint static from Sonic EXE, and the incredibly eerie tune from 1997 or so that played once in the series called "Alpha to Omega (b). The colors turned gray, and Spongebob twisted his head 180 degrees to show a very creepy image:
He was gray all over, was depressed, and had soulless eyes with blood flowing out of them. This is when I realized that something terrible was going to happen, and boy was I right. The music grew stronger, and as it did, more blood came out of his eyes. As soon as the music was at its most intense moment, something scarier than anything I have seen in animation occurred. The character lifted up a gun and pointed it towards its head. Gunshots were heard as the screen cut to black, and I was creeped out by what I just witnessed. Then, letters showed up on the TV screen, saying "SPONGEBOB WAS CANCELLED", and they looked all bloody-like, and I groaned because that was so cliche. Then the letters, disappeared, and more bloody letters appeared, though smaller. This time they said, "Oh, and one more thing...". 3 seconds after the letters appeared, the Scary Maze Game girl appeared on the screen, screaming louder than a nuke in close proximity. I tossed and turned, covering my ears as they bled until I reached my boiling point of fear, anger, confusion, panic, and frustration. I spotted a nearby hammer and smashed the television with it using all the force I had. Then I smashed the DVD, incinerated it, and threw in the dump where it was crushed and removed from exsistence. I swore to never buy a DVD from a strange, terrified person ever again. But then, I forgot about it, got bored and went to the beach.
The Part With the Krabbies Edit
I went to the beach. I had kept spare Pokeballs, with a Numel and a Bulbasaur in 2 of them. Then, I started walking across the beach and noticed a troop of Staryu and Starmie, which I was prepared to catch. I suddenly realized that this section was a Department of Redundancy Department, but that didn't make sense because I haven't written this article yet, but it does because I said "I" too much, but I was talking about my adventures...and then THE STARMIE EXPLODED!!!!! When the dust settled, the same Pokemon along with its "members" of the troop were laying flat on the ground, cores blue. What just happened? Why did they explode? Considering them "genetically mutated" Pokemon, I continued walking, only to find something else on the ground. When I picked it up, I was horrified.
It was a Krabby. A dead, bleeding Krabby with its eyes poked out. Not fainted. Dead. Solid-dead. Not alive. DEAD. I was supremely shocked! Who would do such a thing to this poor Pokemon? In my shocked state, I noticed another Krabby on the ground. When I saw it, it had its eyes, but both of its pincers were replaced by empty sockets that were bleeding. It was dead too. From there, I spotted another dead Krabby. And then another. And more. And then so many that The never-ending trail of dead, tortured Krabbies extended for what seemed like an eternity. Then the number of them dwindled, then stopped. There were no more Krabbies. All I could wonder was this:What happened? How did they all die? Since I was now at the edge of the beach, I decided I would go back.
As soon I was turning around to go back, something felt strange and ominous. There was a huge patch of sand in front of me which wasn't there before. I dismissed it as another example of weathering at work and started walking again. Then, the most unexpected thing happened. The sand lifted up to reveal a Kingler, who sent me flying few yards away by swinging its colossal pincer at me. Even more unexpected was that it was BLOOD-red, was covered in equally red BLOOD, and its eyes were black with red pupils that were dripping BLOOD. Worst of all was its cry. It sounded just like its laugh in the Pokemon: Play It! PC game, but it was much more demonic and it shook the whole place like an earthquake. My 2 Pokeballs then fell due to the shaking, releasing my Numel and Bulbasaur. After smacking me and Bulbasaur with its oversized pincer, stunning us for a great while, the Kingler then charged at Numel. It was undeterred by my Pokemon's Ember, and the latter was pushed with sheer force into the water by the former, who started stomping on it. Before my Numel could by heavily injured, its magma cooled rapidly and in no time it was turned into stone. Then it shattered. I tried to weep, but I was paralyzed and I could only watch the giant crab Pokemon take on Bulbasaur.
My Grass-type Pokemon was just starting to get up when Kingler started running towards it and then attack it with its pincer until it was in its "fainted" state. The crab didn't stop; it used Vice Grip on the Pokemon until it exploded into bits of skin, BLOOD, more BLOOD, and internal organs I have never seen before. I tried to vomit, and I could. This made the Kingler even more furious, seeing I was starting to get out of my state of paralysis. It started towards me, and sent me flying again. Then it inched towards me like the bad guy in a TV show or movie would when the hero is cornered. Kingler then grabbed me and made me gasp for air. The next thing he did was even more unexpected than the last 2: he spoke to me. He said, in its fearfully demonic voice, "I AM A MALE KINGLER. YOUR BULBASAUR WAS QUITE EASY TO RIP APART, UNLIKE THE MANY OTHEF POOR VICTIMS LYING ON MY GROUNDS..."
I suddenly realized there and then that this was a Kingler you'd never want to encounter. It tortured creatures and killed them just for fun. It has destroyed many of them, a large portion of them the dead Krabbies I saw earlier. This Kingler was a monster, a sadistic crab who only cares about annihilating its victims and sending them to who knows where, and I was its next. I was prepared to reveal its information, to expose it to the world. But Kingler was not going to let that happen. It clawed at my face, rendering me unable to see. "TODAY YOU'RE GOING TO DIE," the voice boomed. "TODAY YOU'RE DYING AND DYING AGAIN: I JUST LOVE THE SIGHT OF LITTLE CRABS BLEEDING TO DEATH IN GRUESOME WAYS!" Then the voice faded.
When I opened my eyes again, Kingler was facing me. I was seeing trees and grass and...rocks. But then I noticed that I seemed to be floating. I was not floating. The mad crab was holding me. Then, he turned me 180 degrees so I could see the ground. "PREPARE TO DIE," were the last words I heard before he let me go and sent me plummeting towards the ground. One moment I saw a huge amount of sand. The next, I was alive and well in my bed.
What just happened? Suddenly I remembered an extremely cliche cliche that usually appears in cartoons. The whole thing was just a dream! It was just a dream, and I continued on with my daily life. I whistled as I exited my room, went down the stairs, and prepared to go to work. After I ate breakfast, I opened the door. Jeff the Killer was there. He said "Go To Sleep", which made me run so fast. I ran out of the neighborhood and went to Ganymede, one of Jupiter's moons. I was safe. AND THEN A SKELETON POPPED OUT OF THE CRATER AND KILLED ME! NOT AGAIN! And then I woke up in my bed again. That was a dream too. AND THEN A SKELETON POPPED OUT OF MY CLOEST! But he didn't kill me. Instead, he shook hands, with me, and we became friends and co-workers. THE END.